Introduction

 Monochrome

One day I realised what my child had long known

Between my brows a line had grown

Running up into my forehead when I was tense...

and two little fingers stretched to 'undo' it - I wonder how he had sensed

He of all people, I thought would not understand.

For I imagined him with an aura of question marks around his head

They said he was that way blind - as he would could not read people's mind

Left all confused and anxious as he would not know - what a person meant when they frowned or raised a brow.

His mind, a black and white world....I thought it lacked some colours bold

Felt sorry - and that is where it went wrong - I've realised since....

Range needs to be narrow, for depth to be intense.

So many unique gift he has, I find it was I who had been, all along, colour blind

By

Anagha Jawalekar

Range needs to be narrow and depth to be intense....so apt...

                                            The Beginning

It all started 15 years ago (in 2006) when my son, Akshat (now 17 and non verbal) diagnosed with Autism. We haven't even heard the word before and our whole world came to a standstill when we came to know about its magnitude. 

Autism is a neurological condition. A brain being wired differently...

He missed his developmental milestones except crawling. For almost two years, I was running from pillar to post just to know what exactly the problem was? His paediatrician first suggested a local psychologist who never accepted that he had any autistic features or symptoms and continue doing her so called therapy. 

After two years, I went to his paediatrician again as nothing 'much' was happening. He referred me to Mumbai. There at a dedicated centre for Autism, my son formally diagnosed by Autism.

And the never ending journey started. I did a three months mother child training program from that centre to understand my son. I came to know the prognosis of the condition and gradually I came to terms of accepting my son's condition. I learned in the training how to teach my son and most importantly how to understand him. My son was 4 then.

I did another training from India's topmost centre for Autism after two years. This training helped me to understand various aspects of Autism. I learned about sensory, behaviours, communication etc. 

Both the trainings were pathbreaking for me and my son as we both learned a lot from them.

After that a journey started which is still going on...

When I look back, it seems that we have walked miles and miles but could see from where we started . It was a long one, which is still going on relentlessly, with few milestones in between.

In this journey, we always tried, struggled, sometimes failed but again rose to the challenge. Therefore, our journey is all about efforts and not the achievements. Moreover, my partner, inspiration, teacher, guide and co-writer is my son. Therefore, this is all about my son. Hence, when he started to express I decided to share it with the society because his views matters the most.

The idea of starting a blog is to share my son's work. To let the world know the range and depth of an autistic mind.

I will share the conversations, started happening between me and my son since 2020  which made me think that he has so many unique gifts. 

 Sensory

9-3-20

Me . How was the yesterday’s get together?

Him. It was memorable.

Me. Do you know you were horrible yesterday, behaved weirdly and disturbing everybody?

Him. The environment was not favourable.

Me. What was disturbing you?

Him. Loud noise and crowd.

Me. But I think noise is perfectly bearable and there were only 13-15 people in the room?

Him. Actually it is the filthy smell of body of different people.

Me. But you just gave the reason of noise and crowd. I am confused.

Him. It was unbearable too.

Me. So, what was memorable about the get together?

Him. It was good to have a very nice gathering of children.

Me. What did you enjoy the most?

Him. Throwing the ball.

Me. Any suggestion for next get together.

Him. Please use new clothes.

This was for the first time when he told me about his sensory issues....Then one day, I asked him...

2-12-20

Me. You scream, laugh, walk here and there and make sounds always when you are free…

Him. because body needs it is important.

Me. But it disturbs and sometimes irritates others…

Him. openness is requested.

Me. Ohh…yeah…I totally understand and accept your concerns …but sometimes, my concerns can be genuine…

Him. you can cover your ears.

Me. hmm…Well…you can try some coping mechanisms also…

Him. like what.

Me. like using earphones in low volume, exercise regularly etc.

Him. I see.

I realized how genuine his concerns were and we both need to work upon them...

More such conversations in coming posts....Thanks for reading...