The face off with the real world

A different Struggle 

Don't just give up on me

A chance is all I ask

Search for me with fair eyes,

beyond the superficial mask

Life is hard, we all strive

each day is fought, less or more

But some struggles wait forever,

overlooked, to be accounted for 

By, Anagha Jawalekar

The Mumbai training concluded with lots of learning for me and a remarkable change in Akshat. The future was looking somewhat hopeful. (Although I was unaware of some aspects of disability that were yet to unfold). The Mumbai hangover was still there as we stayed in a carefree environment with like-minded people who had the same issues and therapists who used to counsel us almost every day.

 As Akshat's Autism was officially confirmed now, we searched for an Autism School here in Vadodara and luckily got one and admitted him there. I left my job as it was difficult for me to continue it.

Meanwhile, I was looking for some sport for Akshat and found a skating academy near our place. I talked to the trainer and explained to him Akshat's condition. He agreed to coach Akshat and told me that he had also trained children with special needs. 

Akshat was around 5 then. Just after 2-3 days of joining, the trainer asked me to teach Akshat. I was a little surprised but agreed as it is always difficult for a stranger to teach a child with special needs though I observed that he(trainer) made it a routine. He used to guide me to teach rolling to Akshat but hardly took time to coach him personally. Again I thought it was ok as our situation was different as he had to manage so many other kids. I requested him to look after Akshat, as I was also paying the same fees but he ignored and had an excuse every time. I continued going there as I thought Akshat was getting the 'exposure' and would eventually learn to socialize. Although most of the time I practiced him and within few months he learned to roll and skate. 

Finally, one day I requested the trainer to involve Akshat with other kids. I was shocked when the coach said that Akshat could skate in the main ring only when other kids took a break. The moment he said, tears started rolling down my eyes.

 I haven't encountered this aspect of disability yet. God ! this was heart-wrenching. Would my son have to face this discrimination always? Why he has to face this discrimination? Because he can't speak, he can't understand as others do. The day I started going to that academy, not a single mother talked to me as I was some alien. On the other hand, I could see they befriended each other the moment they enter the premises.

It was my first realization and way towards acceptance. I realized how insensitive society is, towards neurodiversity and if I have to give a happy and healthy upbringing to my son, I have to be everything for him. Be his mother, friend, or teacher.

Today, presenting one of the recent conversation between us. I was just awestruck to know the revelations made by Akshat. After this, he is using a mint toothpaste and eating as per his routine...😊

4-8-21

Me. You didn’t eat anything today since morning…

Him. I am not feeling well.

Me. Oh..what is happening to you…

Him. it is because I ate toothpaste.

Me. When did you eat it?

Him. In the morning.

Me. But I don’t think is the reason you’re not feeling hungry…

Him. no this is the reason.

Me. I am trying to understand what you want to say though it is not clear to me…does toothpaste affect you in anyways…

Him. yes….It gives bad smell.

Me. Ohk…So, changing the toothpaste will solve the problem? Which smell do you prefer in your toothpaste…

Him. Yes…I would like menthol.

Me. Ok…I will bring that for you…