The Delhi Training

Challenges of Adolescence

Are they still there?

Each day I ask

the morning mirror,

my freckles...

They first appeared

at the age of two

I'm told,

and never left me.

I'm more conscious

of them now

Anxiety of people

is a part of me...

just like the freckles

as I have grown

fifteen years and three.

There's a conflict inside

my mood swings,

until I take up tasks

that I enjoy doing...

Guess that's the road 

ahead for me

to try different roles

and find my true identity.

By, Anagha Jawalekar

So until now,  I got used to the challenges and difficulties thrown by Autism. I was so engrossed working with Akshat, and Autism was not allowing me to think or do anything else. I was striving to follow whatever I had learned in Mumbai training, but it was not easy to maintain the routine and motivation. It was going on and off. Meanwhile, hardly anything was happening with Akshat in the school (a special school for Autism). Just then, we met other parents, and they told us about Action for Autism (AFA), Delhi.

Action for Autism, Delhi is a pioneer institute in India for Autism set up by a mother herself. Ms. Merry Barua started the center in the '90s for her son. Today, the institute is serving the parents, not only in India but also in the countries of South Asia. 

AFA also runs the three months training program for parents. So (in 2010), along with my friend (whose son was also autistic), I decided to do the training and went to Delhi. Staying in Delhi for three months was not that easy for us, and we wanted a place near the center because both I, and my friend were new to the city. Luckily, we got a place to stay with my friend's reference. The flat was in a minor community area, and it was an altogether different and somewhat scary experience as far as the stay was concerned. There were service apartments too in that area, but we came to know about that later, and we wanted to cut off our expenses as much as possible. Though, our landlord was very cooperative and helpful. We could not move out of the house after 5 p.m., and bringing grocery,  and other essential items was a huge challenge. On weekends, my friend and flatmate used to go with her brother to his place, and it was horrible for me and Akshat to spend the weekend as going to a nearby market alone (being a lady) was not comfortable. There was a mall there, but it was a bit far, and we had to walk for almost 3 km. on a lonely road. I still remember when we used to go to the mall to pass the time and relish the famous Delhi chaat there. 

The AFA training followed various methodologies like ABA, TEACCH, etc. The trainer Ms. Indrani Basu was herself a mother to a boy with Autism, and that was an added advantage as we got to know her hands-on experience to deal with daily challenges. Akshat, who already had his fundamentals formed, picked up well the training. The format of the training was almost the same as the Mumbai training. We were around 20 mothers and kids in a group. We used to embark the day with the prayer, then group sitting activity, individual child-mother session, break, group physical activity, and a musical goodbye. The day used to end with the discussion session in which mothers used to discuss their queries with the trainer. Here also, we got a plan, and we had to work according to that plan. The atmosphere was so exciting and energetic that every mother used to feel so enthusiastic and ready to learn. At the same time, it was tough to arrange the TLMs(Teaching Learning Materials). In 2010, the Internet was not freely available like today. There was no cybercafe or stationery shop nearby(sometimes I envy today's parents, please don't mind), and I required many flashcards for the training. Sometimes, few mothers from the group helped us and used to bring materials for us too but, they couldn't oblige us regularly. So, I used to call my husband in Vadodara, and he used to take all the printouts, laminate them, and brought them to Delhi when he used to come to meet us.

The main takeaways of the training were Scheduling, Behavior management, ADLs, Life Skills, Adulthood. (I will elaborate on all these points in my next posts). Unlike the Mumbai training, where they prepared both of us to learn and understand, here in Delhi, we got a chance to learn and understand the intensity and magnitude of Autism and how to deal with it. Again the credit went to my husband as he pushed me to did the training. The training prepared me for the future and empowered me as an Autism mom. Though the Mumbai training helped me to deal with the acceptance, at the same time, the Delhi training taught me Autism in-depth and helped setting priorities.

After three and half months of training(officially, it was of three months but went a little long), when I was leaving Delhi, I was feeling ecstatic for two reasons, first, I was leaving the place where we had to stay in the most challenging circumstances and secondly, I completed the training from AFA successfully. Both Mumbai and Delhi training was nothing less than a degree course.

Presenting one more recent conversation between us. Autism is throwing a new challenge everyday. Be it anxiety, aggression or other cognitive issues. I am trying to understand him through these conversations more and helping out...

25-8-21

Me. The strongest force in you is that you have to act in a way that matches how you identify yourself…

Him. I can not believe in poor interest in holistic approach.

Me. I simply can’t interpret this…

Him. Oh this means one should go according to various thought process while thinking.

Me. So that’s how you identify yourself…And do you follow the process while making any decision…

Him. Yes…

Me. Ok...Does this process helps you to be flexible at times…

Him. Yes.

Me. Hmm...But it doesn't reflect much...

Him. Sometimes it is difficult.

Me. Hmm…But this approach helps you to analyse the situation…Isn’t it…

Him. Oh yes.

27-8-21

Me. As you said, by holistic approach you mean various thought process…So what those processes are…

Him. Various thought processes are negative, positive, and evaluation.

Me. Hmm…So how does these processes help you while dealing a situation….

Him. I can imagine the outcome of the situation and hence solve the issue.

Me. Ohho…I didn’t expect such an answer…Well, if you can visualize the outcome then why in some situations you are not able to control yourself but react aggressively…

Him. It is because in certain situations my evaluation is based on negative thoughts.

Me. Ohhk…And what do you think why these negative thoughts are there…

Him. It is because of the high intensity of immaturity.

Me.  Ohho…Again you surprised me…So, you realize after your action that you did something wrong….

Him. Yes.

Me. So, what do you think what can help you to build a positive and strong mind-set…

Him. It can be built by making the mind tough and intelligent.

Me. I see…But that was my question…How will you do that…

Him. I try to do that by reading.