A Roller Coaster Ride
Writing this post exactly after a month. This time it took a bit long. Quite busy with Akshat and my personal stuff. This time also feeling physically low. Ageing, it seems.
Well, things are pretty
better now. After starting the medication, Akshat is calm, though I feel
somewhere at the core those feelings are still disturbing him. As he cannot
filter the unwanted information and feelings, the problem aggravates. An autistic
mind does not know what to retain, how much to retain and what needs to be
thrown out. Again, I am using the positive affirmations and CBT techniques to strengthen
his mind. In addition, as I mentioned in my earlier posts, I have made some environmental
changes by taking him to a vocational center, twice a week, reducing all the activities
that he find stressful.
Being an adult now, he is
more assertive now. His ‘NO’ is more firm than ever. The more I talk to him,
more I understand him as a person, I come to know that the
difficulties arises because of processing differences of the brain. I can definitely
see a change in him but consistency in emotions is a big concern. As always,
music comes to his rescue and he is channelizing his feelings through songs. I
blocked some of the songs but my husband said what is the harm in watching those
songs if he is channelizing his emotions…
Well, because of
medicines, he is now cooperating, ready to participate in activities and I am
trying to give him different exposures.
Life has been a roller coaster ride,
going through all the vicissitudes. Just when Akshat's aggressive behaviour
settled a bit last month, we got an invite last month from Vadodara's local TV
channel, VNM for an interview. I never thought of this. When I told Akshat
about this he instantly agreed and felt so happy about it. They wanted to
interview us and know Akshat’s journey of becoming a co-author of Talking
Fingers. Doing a TV interview was indeed an encouraging and fulfilling
feeling for both of us.
I don’t know what the
next adventure would like be. Till then, as Akshat says, we are on our journey of self-exploration
and trying to be better human beings…
As always, sharing two conversation between us...Both the conversations held after the TV interview...
Conversation - 1
9-9-22
M. So, how was your yesterday’s experience, shooting for a TV
interview…
A. Great.
M. Ok...Can you elaborate…
A. It was like a milestone achieved.
M. Hmm…Whom do you want to give the credit for this…
A. to my work and mamma.
M. Thank you my boy…So, what’s your plan ahead…have you
thought anything…
A. not yet very confusing.
M. But in the book and its promotional interview you said, you
want to be a writer…
A. Yes I want to be a very good writer but my lack of concentration
would be a hurdle.
M. Oh…It is not any major hurdle that we can’t work on…In
fact, we have worked on it and you have improved too…So, you can do better
ahead too…
A. Yoo.
M. Yeah…keep doing your bit…Anyways, how was the experience of
going to a TV studio, meeting a TV anchor…Generally we see these people on TV..
Having a live experience is different…
A. Oh! It was wow.
M. And how were my answers? I was a bit nervous and in
spontaneity, I forgot to say some technicalities…
A. No. the answers were very good. Straight from the heart.
M. Ohhk…Thanks so much…Your validation matters so much…
A. Ok.
Conversation - 2
12-9-22
M. So, how was the video of the interview…
A. It was brilliant.
M. Ok...People are appreciating you and your responses in the
book…How are you feeling?
A. Yes, it is very motivating.
M. Does it encourage writing you more?
A. Yes.
M. Oh...That's good…What would you like to write next?
A. book.
M. Ok.
M. What about poems? You have not written any since long..
A. Because I can not write.
M. Hmm…But you used to write earlier…What happened now?
A. My feeling is very mature so I can write book not poems.
M. Ohh…no compulsion…whatever way you are comfortable with…you
just enjoy it…
A. ok.
M. How comfortable are you now in typing?
A. It is better now.
M. Consistently better or sometimes better?
A. Consistently.
M. That’s good…So do
you feel the enthusiasm to type now?
A. Yes.
M. Tht’s good…What do you think what worked for you?
A. Consistent emotional regulation.
M. Great…good to know…But we are doing it(emotional
regulation) for anger management also…Does it working there?
A. Hmm… it seems there is some mind connection that goes off.
M. Hmm…I understand… The ‘shifting of thoughts’ that I
explained you the other day, did you get that and does it work…
A. I can shift my focus from one thought to another thought.
M. Cool…So, tell me how you feel when you are in anger…
A. Oh…it is like boiling.
M. Hmm…I understand…So, whenever you are in anger, can you
just start counting 1,2,3, and so on…Till you feel calm and your focus shifts
to ‘relax’ stage…
A. Ok.
M. Can you do it on your own or you need any help or cue in
that situation…
A. I can do it on my own.
M. Very nice but we will practice it also.
A. Ok.
First of all big congrats on your achievement! This is fantastic account of recent happenings. As always very insightful conversations... Brilliant interview, absolutely loved it! Thank you so much for sharing. You are amazing👏👏
ReplyDeleteAnagha